Guts-pology

I apologize for not getting Sunday's picks up. I was in South Bend, IN, (with Nums coincidentally) at the Michigan/Notre Dame game. It was a heartbreaking defeat for our beloved Irish. Anyway, while I was there Nums informed me, much to my chagrin, that he was seriously unable to use his BS number system without data. So he can't start picking until that's ready. He's weak. I went 0-1 last week. I picked the vikings to beat a 4.5 point spread and they lost by 5. Close. All that means is that I'm tuned in and ready to pick.

NFL Week 2:

Arizona @ Atlanta: Atlanta -6.5. I've got to think Atlanta's offense will show up this weekend at home. A lot of other "experts" are counting Arizona out of this game because it's an East Coast game. This is not in New England and it's on turf. I like Arizona to beat this spread in my GUTSY pick of the week.
Pick: Arizona

Tampa Bay @ Carolina: OFF. I have to pick this game straight up. I like Tampa Bay and I think they have a decent future ahead of them with Morgan Freeman, star of Shawshank Redemption, at QB. I like Carolina at home though on the legs of DeAngelo Williams.
Pick: Carolina

Buffalo @ Green Bay: Green Bay -13. I like Green Bay to cover. Mark my words, Buffalo will be the worst team in the NFL this year and will draft a quarterback 1st overall.
Pick: Green Bay

Baltimore @ Cincinnati: Baltimore -2. After this week, Cincinnati will be the best 0-2 team. Their offense is revamped, but Baltimore's looked "Ravens Super Bowl 2000" Good. Baltimore still feels the sting of last year's two defeats at the hands of the Bengals.
Pick: Baltimore

Pittsburgh @ Tennessee: Tennessee -5. This seems like a Tennessee lock. Chris Johnson looks great, the defense held up well against the revamped Raiders. The Steelers have a third-string quarterback in. NOPE! Pittsburgh will beat this spread.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Kansas City @ Cleveland: Cleveland -1.5. I can't understand this one. Cleveland loses to Tampa Bay (bad team) and Kansas City beats San Diego (playoff team) and Cleveland is favored. If no one watched the late Monday Game, let me refresh your memory. Chiefs=fast.
Pick: Always pick speed, Chiefs.

Philadelphia @ Detroit: Philadelphia -4.5. Vick is back. See him run.
Pick: Philadelphia (by a wide margin).

Chicago @ Dallas: Dallas -8.5. This is a trap spread. Dallas is at home and will have something to prove.
Pick: Dallas. I'm going to regret this pick. But I have to think Dallas is better than they showed in Washington.

Miami @ Minnesota: Minnesota -5.5: Again, another team with something to prove at home. The Vikings offense, despite their chirping, might need to trade for Vincent Jackson. Miami is much improved and can run all over the dome.
Pick: Miami. Minnesota will be the second best 0-2 team. (Favre will waste this team this year).

St. Louis @ Oakland: Oakland -3.5. The Raiders had bright spots in that game against Tennessee. The Rams will have a winning record in the next 5 years. This game won't help.
Pick: Oakland.

Seattle @ Denver: Denver -3.5. Perhaps Vegas did not see the Broncos first game. They confuse me. Seattle surprised everyone beating a much-hyped 49er squad who is already in Singletary's doghouse. That said...
Pick: Denver at home.

Houston @ Washington: Houston -3. Houston will win this stunningly close game by exactly 3. Arian Foster will rush for only 120 this week, he's a beast, pay attention. *Fantasy pick of the game: Santana Moss.
Pick: Houston.

Jacksonville @ San Diego: San Diego -7.5. Chargers will win big.
Pick: San Diego.

New England @ New York Jets: New England -1.5. The Jets are gross. I'm tired of hearing about them. Revis may shut down Moss but that team can't stop the rest of the Patriots passing game.
Pick: New England

N.Y. Giants @ Indianapolis: Indianapolis -5.5. Manning Bowl II. See Result of Manning Bowl I.
Pick: Indianapolis.


Fantasy League: The Red Zone IX

Let's start out with Me (1759ers) vs. Nums (Robocops): That's right, this week I play my arch-nemesis and heterosexual life-partner on the metaphorical gridiron. Nums is sporting a particularly despicable lineup that is unfortunately capable of upending me after my first week murder of the Flying Hellfish. Nums has Ahmad Bradshaw against an Indy defense that gave up 231 yds to Arian Foster (my boy) and Brandon Jackson against a Buffalo defense that surrendered 147 yards on the ground to Miami. Also, our matchup also pits the Manning brothers against one another. I happen to have the better one for fantasy purposes and that will be the difference this week. I'll win 72-66.

Fightendrunks v. Sloptarts:
The Sloptarts benefited last week playing against the worst team in Fantasy Football, the Hells Satans. Also, no matter who is on Manager/Coach/Owner Nick Teada's team, he seems to find a way to win. This year I have a feeling some of that luck will run out. There is definitely some talent on the Sloptarts, but inconsistency could be the death of that team. As for the Drunks. This team is scary. They currently sit in last place though due to a TD-less week from Peterson and Turner and a concussion to Kolb. I guarantee both Peterson and Turner will score this week and Michael Vick will be UNBELIEVABLE against the Lions. Drunks roll. 75-52.

Blood Money v. Hells Satans:
Ew. This is a must win game for both teams as my colleague Teed has already pointed out with his tremendous picks. It's hard to believe there could be a must-win game this early. I picked Blood Money, only because I hate John. Personally, I think this will be a 10-10 tie. But.. in the interest of seriousness, Blood Money will win a squeaker. 6-3.

Danny's Donkies v. Rusty Nails:
The Donkies suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of their most bitter rivals last week, the Roughnecks. Still, their team is solid. Nails team, however, benefited from a very strong trade last week and will debut new RB Ray Rice this week against Cincinnati. Rice was stuffed by the staunch Jets D last week, but he will be the high point man in this matchup that isn't a quarterback. Rivers will earn that honor and Rusty Nails will take this one 75-64.

Flying Hellfish v. The Roughnecks:
The Hellfish got lambasted last week against my championship caliber squad, but not because they're a bad team. No one scored. This is a touchdown heavy league and I look for the Hellfish to score lots of touchdowns. Seattle and Matt Hasselbeck put up 31 points against the 49ers. By sheer talent gap, Drew Brees should put up 60. The Roughnecks have the advantage top to bottom. But the Brees-Colston connection is too much to overcome. Hellfish 61-60.

Kibbles and Vicks v. TBX:
I know the following statement is going to come back to haunt me, but here it goes: Chris Johnson will not score a rushing touchdown vs. Pittsburgh. Further, if Pittsburgh is able to control Time of Possession, his 100 yard rushing game streak will end this week. With that, goes the Xperience momentum. I'm picking Kibbles, only because I see a let down this week. Biggs' team is WAY better, but this week, they lose. 66-65.