Thanksgiving Day Picks

Gobble Gobble...
The time has come. Every man and some women's favorite part of football season: getting drunk on Thanksgiving Eve with people you haven't seen in years (and probably didn't want to), waking up hungover to the smell of Thanksgiving Dinner being prepared by those brave souls who didn't go out Wednesday, and then sitting stuffed and happy, doped up on Tryptophan, watching football.

Hell, it's so popular, the NFL added an extra game recently. All in all, this festival is one day where we can all be happy. So here are your picks for the three Thursday games. If I get around to it I'll pick Sunday's games on Thanksgiving, but I'd expect them on Black Friday. As always, you can set your clock to these gut locks. The three proven indexes are gold. Be good to each other this holiday.

Green Bay vs. Detroit:
Pick: Green Bay: A Thanksgiving Day tradition unlike any other....at least as of late, the Lions have had the pleasure of getting torched by some of today's great quarterbacks. Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are just two of the Qbs who have smoked the Lions secondary in the past couple years. This year, one of the greatest, most durable, most respected quarterbacks in the league, Brett Favre gets his shot at the Lions. I don't see this scenario spelling a victory for Detroit, and neither does my Gut. Although they're much improved, they're still new to this winning business (They've matched their highest win total in seven seasons under Millen) as you saw the last two weeks. Green Bay. I mean, my American heart-gut couldn't possibly pick against Brett Favre in what might be his last Thanksgiving Day game.
Guts Index (G): I don't know if anyone feels the same, but there's nothing like ripping out the inside of a turkey, then boiling and eating it.
Heart Index (H): 1 heart: Oh how John Madden's heart will pump this Thursday.
America Index (A): This country was founded when the Pilgrims befriended the Native Americans and ate maize, maybe there was Turkey involved, maybe not. Maybe we just hated Maize and then got pissed and won this country fair and square.
Spread: Green Bay -3.5: Look for Green Bay to win by 10


New York Jets vs. Dallas
Pick: Dallas: Another tradition, much like the first, Dallas gets to play at home on Thanksgiving. Jerry Jones stands on the sidelines, with his hands in his pinstripe pockets, fiddling his solid gold balls and jingling change loud enough for "Fat Kid" Wade Phillips to hear and come running with a smile on his face and get candy from Uncle Jerry. This is beautiful. More beautiful than Wade Phillips' jowls, however, will be the play of the whole Cowboys team. They're 9-1, Terrell Owens is playing "within the system" and Romo looks like he might be worth 67.5 million. I think the Cowboys will walk off the field 10-1.
G: Being labeled America's team and playing for America like the Cowboys have done this year. That takes guts. A strong gut rating percentage ratio of 4.75 for this one.
H: Right around the time this game starts (4:30) Everyone will be starting to or in the middle of getting into Thanksgiving dinner, it's where the heart is. Meanwhile, someone will be playing football, and our hearts go out to them.
A: This land is our land, this land is your land.
Spread: Dallas -14: It's thanksgiving! Give a little love. NY loses by only 13 and beats the spread.


Indianapolis vs. Atlanta
Pick: Indianapolis: While some may argue that Indianapolis is just a shell of the Colts B.P. 2007 (That's before the Patriot Game 2007) they are much better than Atlanta which is just plain sad. Poor team. If they have anything left to be thankful for after the start of this season, I applaud them. This game won't make anything better. In a tradition richer than any other on thanksgiving, the Colts will play ANOTHER game on the NFL Network.. and it's what we all look forward to sleeping through.
G: Michael Vick was on the show Guts starring Moira Quirk. Now he's going to be enjoying his Turkey that he no doubt had another Turkey fight against with the plan of eating the loser, I've got nothing.
H: 1 heart: For Bobby Petrino, who walked into this Atlanta job with high hopes which were quickly dashed. Now all he has left is knowing he can draft Brian Brohm with the 5th pick in the draft (after Miami, San Francisco, Oakland, and St. Louis) and rebuild Louisville
A: If there's one thing we love to see on thanksgiving, it's Peyton manning throw 6 tds. Do it again big guy!
Spread: Indy -11.5: They'll cover, it's time to shine.


Bonus pick: (11) USC vs. (7) Arizona St.
Raise your hand if you forgot about College Football on Thanksgiving! Big match-up that could shape the Pac-10 (especially with Dixon out in Oregon) winner of this game could very well be on their way to the Rose Bowl. I like Arizona St. to play Dennis Erickson football and win this one. USC's dynasty may be over (emphasize the may, they're a recruiting juggernaut). Word to the wise Pete Carroll, get out while there are still so many bad teams in the NFL who might need coaches with your resume.


Well there you go, enjoy the picks, print them out, fun for the whole family. Sit around your table and be thankful you have someone this handsome and this gutsy picking games for you. I know I'm thankful for what I have. I'm also thankful for comfortable pajamas, warm apple cider, and hugs. I'm thankful for Kevin Spacey movies, choreographed dancing, and steak knives. I'm thankful for backyard football, laser tag, and mittens without individual finger slots. Most of all I'm thankful for friends, family, and you, my fans. Stay warm, and be careful out there.