SYSTEM ERROR SYSTEM ERROR

Ok... This isn't the end of the System, but it is the biggest emergency in It's young, promising life. The NFL (I can't believe this is even happening) hasn't updated the stats on NFL.com from week 11... That's right, it hasn't updated its website. So that means, as far as the System is concerned, Randy Moss never caught four touchdowns, Pittsburgh never left poop stains in the bed and (this is the worst part) America didn't see Tony Romo smile.

I really didn't have a contingency plan for this, and I hope the stats go up soon enough. For now, though, I'll try picking the Thanksgiving day games and hope to God, with all his beardly goodness, that I don't have to pick the rest of the games like this. Luckily, the matchups on thursday are pretty lopsided.

Game Previews:

GB at DET:

I thought last week would be the week Bret Favre threw his arm out. I was wrong. It will be this week. That said, the spread is surprisingly low, so I have to go with GB.

NYJ at DAL:

If nobody will say it, I will: Wade Phillips is an old fat kid. He's just a fat kid that got bigger, but never grew up. He's like that little fat kid in elementary school who lit up as soon as he saw his mom packed an extra brownie for his fat-ass mouth. Watch him. After every touch down (and there will likely be several), he jumps up and giggles. He sits on the sidelines and smiles and craps while Troy Aikman's perma-backup Jason Garrett tries to prove that he really was a good quarterback who just never had a chance.

I must say, however, that for a fat man, Phillips has surprising dexterity in his jowls. The rest of his body? Not so much. God I hate him. Maybe it was growing up watching Ray Rhodes and Rich Kotite, but something doesn't sit well when I see a happy football coach. Regardless, I pick DAL all the way.

IND at ATL:

If there's one thing Zach likes, it's "Athletes playing on Turf in a Dome." And on Thursday, we will be graced by two teams with (according to him) great athletes playing in domes on turf, DET and IND. I quote: "it’s on turf. This favors playmakers. Indy has more" He said that last week, and i'm sure he'll say it again. And while I think Indy will win its game, I don't think they can cover a 12 point spread, even against a team whose fans chanted for Joey 'Did I Do That?' Harrington last week. Especially with a Peyton Manning that has thrown 7 interceptions in two games and only threw 160 yds against KC. They are in major injury trouble on offense.

Off all the weeks Michael Vick chose to enter prison, he chose the one before thanksgiving and possibly the only nationally televised Falcons game for the rest of the year. He might be the first person to voluntarily enter prison to avoid an awkward dinner conversation with his family.